Mary Sue Who?
by yami no hikari
Summary: Everyone knows that Mary Sues are evil, but no one knew how evil until a new girl arrives at Domino High.
1. The Premonition

Disclaimer: I don't own them.  
  
A/N- My muse, Mickey (a potato shaped like Mickey Mouse's head that lives in the freezer) fell down and cracked one of his ears. He now has brain damage, and refuses to talk to me since it was my fault he fell. So I tried the old fashioned method of eating as much sugar as humanly possible, to try and get some inspiration for my other stories. Instead, I got this, whatever this is. Actually coherent, which shocked the hell out of me! Don't know how Japanese schools work, and was way too hyper to do research. Also too lazy to write for their separate classes. Therefore, they are all in one classroom all day. We'll just say that the teacher's move from room to room, or something. No honorific titles either. Reviews great, constructive criticism rocks, flamers shot! Enjoy!  
  
  
  
The Premonition  
  
Honda strolled down the street toward The Game Shop Monday morning, trying to shake off the horrible premonition of impending evil that he had. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't shake off the feeling that something was coming. Something UN-natural.  
  
He started when he suddenly felt an arm across his shoulders, and Joey's grinning face was right beside his.  
  
"Hi Honda! Can I take a quick peek at your math book? Please, buddy of mine?" He asked pleadingly.  
  
Honda shrugged off Joey's arm, and began to walk again, Joey falling into step behind him. "No."  
  
"Oh, come on! Please? I'd let you see mine if you needed to." Joey said pleadingly.  
  
"Yeah, but why would I ever need to?" Honda said jokingly. "Your math's worse."  
  
Joey gave him a mock glare, which rapidly changed back into sad puppy eyes. "Please? I'll get detention forever if I show up without my homework done again. You don't want to see your friend in detention, do you?"  
  
Honda started to look around searchingly.  
  
"What are you doing?" Joey asked.  
  
"Looking for my 'friend' that you keep talking about."  
  
Joey frowned. "This is no time to joke. My entire academic career is at stake here!"  
  
"Yeah, all nine years of it." Honda muttered dryly.  
  
"Please!" Joey asked again desperately.  
  
'What's my chances of getting you to shut up about this if I don't?"  
  
Joey appeared to think about it for a moment. "Oh, I'd say slim to none."  
  
"Fine." Honda sighed, stopping to slide his backpack off his shoulder, and get his math book. Finally finding it, he held it out.  
  
"Thank you!" Joey eagerly took the offered book, and clutched it like a lifeline. "You're a lifesaver. Cherry, even! The best!"  
  
"Yeah, yeah. Just copy it already!"  
  
Joey walked along carefully balancing both his book and Honda's, frantically copying answers. By the time they arrived at the Game Shop to meet Yugi, Ryou, and Tea, it was done.  
  
"Hey Joey, Honda! How are you both this morning?" Ryou asked.  
  
"Fine." Joey said cheerful, now that his homework crisis was over.  
  
"Fine." Honda said, still unable to shake his bad feeling.  
  
Together they walked to school.  
  
Parting in the halls they each went to their separate lockers, and pulled out the books they'd need for their morning classes. First was math, then English, then history, and after that lunch! After lunch, there was physical education, and then geography. Honda hated Mondays. He'd never use most of the things they learned in math; I mean when was the last time someone had asked him in everyday life what the square root of 98796 was. It just didn't happen. And where was he going to even use English? He never planned to go to America, or anywhere else that you needed to be able to speak English to go. Frustrating language that had so many exceptions to its grammar rules. History was okay, he could deal with it. Physical education was great! He planned to kick Joey's ass in the soccer game that afternoon. Geography was boring. Hopefully he'd be close enough to pass notes to his friends without getting caught.  
  
He grabbed his books, and hurried into the classroom. He sat down in his seat in the very back of the room between Joey and Yugi, with Ryou ahead of Joey, and Tea ahead of him. The seat in front of Yugi was the only empty one in the classroom.  
  
The day began as normal. The teacher called for their math homework, and Joey got detention anyway because he'd copied the wrong pages. Joey groaned loudly, and buried his face in his arms. He muttered something that sounded suspiciously like a muffled curse.  
  
"I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that. Would you like to repeat it so that the rest of us can hear?" The teacher, Mr. Tanaka asked.  
  
"No, sir." Joey said straightening up in his seat.  
  
Mr. Tanaka opened his mouth to say more, when there was a knock on the door. Mr. Tanaka sighed, and went to answer it.  
  
"Yes?" He said, opening the door slightly. Joey made a face at his back, and Honda had to smother his laughter. Tea rolled her eyes at them.  
  
There was a voice too low to hear that spoke for a moment.  
  
"Oh." Mr. Tanaka said, accepting a piece of paper. Opening the door wider, he turned back to the class. "Class, we have a new student with us. Please welcome," He paused as he glanced at the paper in his hand. "Mary Sue."  
  
A girl stepped into the room. Long blond hair shining, blue eyes, and a friendly pretty face. Even the school uniform she wore couldn't disguise her figure. A Barbie doll of perfection come to life.  
  
Mr. Tanaka smiled at her. "I don't seem to have your last name down on this sheet of paper. A mistake at the office no doubt. Why don't you tell it to us?"  
  
"I don't mean to seem contrary, sir, but you do have my last name. It's Sue. My first name is Mary. Therefore my full name is Mary Sue." She said in a musical voice.  
  
Honda raised an eyebrow. Something just didn't feel right about her. Her presence in the room caused the hairs on the back of his neck to stand on end.  
  
"Why don't you go sit," Mr. Tanaka scanned the room. "In front of Yugi. Yugi please raise your hand so she'll know who you are."  
  
Yugi raised his hand, and she went to sit in front of him. Joey looked over at Honda and raised his eyebrows at him, mouthing 'cute', and nodding his head in Mary Sue's direction. Honda shrugged.  
  
"We're on page 144 in your math book. Tea would you please share with Mary, and we'll begin."  
  
The morning went by rather fast, and before Honda knew it, it was lunchtime. The bell rang and Joey leapt to his feet, heading for the door.  
  
"I'll meet you guys outside!" He called back to them.  
  
Tea was still sitting talking to Mary.  
  
"Pleased to meet you, Mary. My name is Ryou." Ryou told her politely. "Would you like to eat lunch with us?"  
  
"I'd be happy to!" She exclaimed. "And I'm very happy to meet you also, Ryou."  
  
"My name's Yugi." Yugi said, blushing slightly when she looked at him.  
  
"Pleased to meet you Yugi!" She chirped happily.  
  
Honda froze when she looked at him. They locked eyes for a moment. Honda shuddered, and was it his imagination or did those blue orbs narrow for a moment? She quickly assaulted him with a wide smile, before he could be sure.  
  
"I'm Mary Sue, and you would be?" She paused expectantly.  
  
"Honda." Honda said, slowly.  
  
"Nice meeting you. Anyway, shall we go for lunch?" She asked, rising to her feet.  
  
"Okay." Yugi agreed. "We usually eat, this way."  
  
They all followed him out into the courtyard to eat. Honda trailed along last of all. Something wasn't right here. Her entire presence in the group made him feel odd. Plus, he was sure that she had glared at him earlier. Something just wasn't right, and he was determined to figure it out. 


	2. Suspicions

Disclaimer: I don't own them.  
  
A/N- If Mickey (my muse) doesn't co-operate soon I'm going to deep fry him into chips! Here's chapter two of four! I think that the title scared everyone away! I don't know that much about the duel monster's game so I'm just skipping over it.  
  
  
  
Suspicions  
  
At lunch, Mary talked with everyone. Honda hated to admit it, but everything that she said was perfect. Everyone seemed to like her, but no matter how hard Honda tried he just couldn't shake off the feeling that she didn't belong.  
  
At last Tea pulled him aside, and told him not to be rude. "How would you feel if you were new, and someone kept glaring at you all day? Now be nice!"  
  
"Fine!" Honda agreed just to get her to shut up.  
  
"Good. Maybe you'd feel less jealous if you talked to her." Tea suggested.  
  
"Jealous! Why would I be jealous?"  
  
"Well you are sitting here sulking. Just come over, and talk with us. We're trying to explain duel monsters to her."  
  
"Why? She can't play?"  
  
"No, but she's learning really fast! You should come over."  
  
"Maybe later." Honda said, raising his book back up and reading it. He heard laughter coming from his friends' spot on the grass, and looked over. They all had their decks out, and were talking animatedly. Just then Mary Sue looked over at him, and smirked.  
  
Honda sat up straighter in indignation. He glared at her, and for just a moment her eyes widened in surprise. Then she smiled again, a very superior I'm-better-than-you-are smile.  
  
Honda got up off the grass, preparing to go over and give her a piece of his mind, when the bell rang. Everyone hurried back into the building. Honda was just returning from his locker when he passed by Yugi's locker, on the way to the locker room to change for PE. Mary Sue was with him.  
  
"So how about that practice duel after school?" Yugi asked.  
  
"I'd love to, although I'm not sure how good I'll be." She batted her eyes at him. Yugi blushed again.  
  
"Okay, then I'll see you after school!"  
  
"See you then!" Mary Sue called back, heading for her own locker.  
  
Yugi stood watching her leave with a love sick puppy look on his face, and Honda rolled his eyes before clearing his throat loudly.  
  
Yugi started, and then relaxed. "Oh, Honda. It's just you! Ready for gym?" He asked turning to close the locker door.  
  
Honda felt unreasonably hurt by the 'It's just you' remark, and then shook his head. Don't be paranoid.   
  
"Yeah, I'm ready."  
  
"Well then, let's go!"  
  
They hurried off to the locker rooms.  
  
Honda played worse than he'd ever played, that day. He couldn't stop thinking about her. Yet, he knew that there was something wrong about her. She was just so......so........perfect. Yeah that was it! UN- naturally perfect. No one that perfect could be up to any good. She had to be covering for something.  
  
Plus she had glared at him, not once but twice. And smirked! Whenever she knew no one was watching she tormented him. Even now, he could feel her eyes boring into his back. He knew that she knew that he knew she was up to something. But how could he explain his suspicions to the others without sounding crazy? Heck, even he though he sounded crazy!  
  
After the soccer game, in the locker room Joey confronted him.  
  
"What's up with you today?"  
  
"Nothing." Honda said, tying his shoes. "Why would something be up?"  
  
"You've just been acting so odd." Joey told him, pulling on his shirt.  
  
'Well, nothing's up." Honda stood to go, but Joey grabbed his arm stopping him.  
  
"Come on, Honda. I'm your friend. You can trust me."  
  
"You'll laugh if I tell you."  
  
"No, I won't! I swear!" Joey said solemnly.  
  
Honda hesitated another moment before he said quietly. "I think Mary Sues out to get me."  
  
Joey stared at him in disbelief, then struggled not to laugh. "You're kidding!" He managed to say at last.  
  
"No, I'm serious!"  
  
A small chuckle escaped Joey, and Honda frowned. "I'm serious! She glares at me when no one's watching! She's scary!"  
  
"She's just a transfer student! She' not out to get you. You're just being paranoid. I mean, why would she want to hurt you?"  
  
"I don't know!" Honda ran a hand through his still damp hair. It was not quite shoulder length, when it wasn't up in his usual cool style. "Just keep an eye on her, would you?"  
  
Joey grinned. "If you insist!"  
  
Honda shrugged Joey's arm off, and started to leave again. He got to the door and then came back. "Oh, and Joey? Please don't tell anyone else about this?"  
  
"No, problem. Your secrets safe with me."  
  
"Yeah, right." Honda mumbled, again walking out. "That's what I was afraid of."  
  
Geography was uneventful. By the time, it was over; Honda had managed to convince himself that all his problems against Mary Sue were in his mind.  
  
After school Joey had to go to detention, Ryou had to see a teacher about his homework assignment, as he didn't understand it. He lent Mary Sue his cards so that she could learn how to duel. Honda, Yugi, Tea, and Mary Sue walked to The Game Shop for their mock duels.  
  
First Honda and Tea demonstrated how to duel. Mary Sue watched closely. Honda lost almost right away, because Mary Sue was creeping him out so badly.  
  
Mary Sue then dueled Tea. After a long drawn out battle, Mary Sue won. Honda secretly thought that Tea had let her win, but didn't say anything. This theory was soon dashed to pieces as she began to duel Yugi. Yugi kept asking her if she was sure she didn't know what she was doing with every move she made.  
  
"Yes, I'm sure that I've never played before. Why am I doing something wrong." She asked.  
  
Yugi at last managed to defeat her with 'The Dark Magician.'  
  
Her eyes widened in disbelief, which she quickly covered with a smile. "Good game. Thank you very much for teaching me, Yugi."  
  
"No problem." Yugi said, watching her with an unidentifiable look on his face.  
  
She rose smoothly to her feet. "I hate to have to go this soon, but I'm afraid I must."  
  
"Do you need want someone to walk you home?" Tea asked.  
  
"No, I'm fine." She said, with that 1000-watt smile of hers.  
  
"I can walk her home." Honda said getting up also. "I was just about to go home anyway."  
  
Mary Sue's expression didn't change, but Honda thought he detected an air of triumph about her.  
  
"That would be fine, also. Thank you for offering, Honda."  
  
"The pleasures all mine." Honda said politely, grabbing his bag.  
  
"Would you please give these to Ryou?" Mary Sue asked, handing Yugi Ryou's deck. "I'm sure that you'll see him before I do."  
  
"Of course." Yugi agreed. "See you both tomorrow!"  
  
"Good-bye!"  
  
"Bye!"  
  
As soon as the door shut behind Honda and Mary Sue, Yami appeared. "Okay that was very weird!"  
  
"You said it!" Tea agreed.  
  
Just then, the door opened again, and Ryou and Joey followed by Yami Bakura and Yami Malik came in.  
  
"I think maybe Honda might b right." Yami said.  
  
"Right about what?" Ryou asked. Seeing his deck on the table, he picked it up. "How'd the duel go."  
  
"She just about won." Yugi replied. "If Yami hadn't helped me she would have. She almost did anyway."  
  
Yami Malik and Yami Bakura were deep in discussion about something or other, and didn't even bother to look up.  
  
"Really! But I thought she just learned how to play today. How could she become that good that fast?" Joey asked.  
  
"I don't know. It's kind of odd now that I think about it, that she knew exactly what to say to every single person to make him or her like her. Kind of creepy." Tea put in.  
  
"Maybe she's just super friendly. That's not a crime." Ryou defended her.  
  
"But if she's super friendly why didn't she make an effort to meet Honda." Yugi asked.  
  
"But she did this morning, and Honda wouldn't talk to her. He just kind of stared." Tea pointed out. "I don't know if I'd talk to someone like that on the first day of a new school."  
  
"Honda was acting pretty freaky." Joey agreed. Then he laughed. "Don't tell Honda that I told you this, but today in the locker room I asked him what was wrong, and he said that he thought that Mary Sue was out to get him."  
  
Tea smiled. "He does have quite the imagination, doesn't he?"  
  
She was about to say more, when she realized that Yami Malik and Yami Bakura were staring at her.  
  
"What?" She asked, shifting uncomfortably.  
  
"Who did you say Honda thought was out to get him?"  
  
"A new transfer student, Mary Sue."  
  
Yami Malik paled. "Oh, no! Not her again!  
  
"Her who? That name means something to you?" Yami asked. "Who is she? What is she?"  
  
Yami Bakura sighed. "She's a creature of great evil, and unimaginable destruction. I haven't heard of her kind in so long that I thought that they had all been destroyed. I guess I was wrong."  
  
"Tell me!" Yami ordered.  
  
Yami Bakura smiled. "As you wish, but it's not a pretty story."  
  
Yami leaned forward intently as Yami Bakura began to tell his troubled tale. 


	3. Evil Unmasked

Disclaimer: I don't own them.  
  
A/N- Chapter three of four. I don't own The Matrix or Lara Croft either.  
  
  
  
Evil Unmasked  
  
Yami Bakura began to grimly pace back and forth. "I think that to explain this properly, well need the manual. Yami Malik?"  
  
Yami Malik disappeared for a moment. When he reappeared, he was carrying a large ancient looking book.  
  
"Yami Malik, and I are from the secret order of the MSES. That's the Mary Sue Extermination Squad. Mary Sues are an ancient evil that has always existed, but their ranks began to grow rapidly with the rising popularity of what's know as," Here Yami Bakura paused to look around paranoid as if the walls had ears and were spies. At last satisfied he whispered, "Fanfiction."  
  
"Fanfiction?" Tea asked loudly.  
  
"Shhhhhhh!" Yami Malik and Yami Bakura hissed at her. Yami Bakura jumped up and strode over to the windows. Quickly he shut them, and closed the curtains. He locked the door, and put the 'closed' sign out.  
  
"Yes, fanfiction. But that's not important, right now. Mary Sues have always been. They are put into otherwise good stories for god knows what purpose, and can have many different names and descriptions. Mary Sues try to solve all the problems. They're perfect in every way, and can do almost anything." Yami Bakura said at last.  
  
"That doesn't sound so bad." Ryou told his other half, and then immediately cringed at the glare he got.  
  
"No, that part doesn't sound so bad. Over the last twenty years, or so, we've been getting reports that the Mary Sues power's are growing. Slowly they're being tolerated in more and more stories. In fact some people actually * like* these stories. As I said Mary Sues are fast adapters. They're learning our methods of killing them, and finding ways to survive. Their favorite way of survival is in forming a sort of...symbiotic relationship with some 'authors'. These people think that what their writing is their idea, but it's actually just a ploy by the Mary Sues to gain acceptance through redundant story lines, by the outside world. If a Mary Sue is here, then they must feel that the time is right to launch a mass attack." Yami Bakura continued.  
  
"A mass attack!" Yugi interrupted looking vaguely scared now.  
  
"Yes, a mass attack. They want to solve the world's problems, and the only way that they feel that they can do that is to brainwash the entire human race into acting like they do. They want a world of Mary Sues!" He paused for dramatic effect, and was pleased to see everyone's horrified looks. " Lately we've discovered that they've begun to work secretly on a weapon. With this weapon they felt that they could walk among us UN noticed. This must have been the test run. If, as you say, no one else noticed the first Mary Sue they'll move on to the second phase. We must stop that from happening!"  
  
Yami sat down on a chair, his eyes wide as he though of all the implications of the Mary Sues plans for world domination. "It's a good thing that Honda saw through her." He commented.  
  
Yami Malik looked up quickly. "Where is Honda?"  
  
Suddenly Yugi jumped to his feet; "He went to walk Mary Sue home! He said that he thought she was out to get him, what if she was because he was a danger to their master plan! We've got to find him!"  
  
"How long ago did they leave?" Yami Bakura asked frowning.  
  
Tea glanced at her watch. "About fifteen minutes ago."  
  
"We'll never find them now." Yami Malik sighed.  
  
"What do you think she'll do to him?" Ryou asked worriedly.  
  
"First she'll try to find out how he knew, then she'll try to convert him." Yami Bakura said shuddering.  
  
"You mean like brainwashing him!" Yami yelled.  
  
"Yes." Yami Malik said simply.  
  
"We have to find him!" Yami said decisively rising to his feet.  
  
"How?" Yami Bakura asked him. "She could be anywhere cute!"  
  
"Please help us find him, Yami! We'll never be able to without you!" Ryou begged.  
  
Yami Bakura sighed. "I'll try. What does The Book say, Malik?"  
  
Yami Malik reverently opened the thick leather bound book. He read for a few moments, his face going whiter and whiter. "What day is it?" He asked.  
  
"Thursday, June 6." Tea replied.  
  
"Oh no! No, no, no!" Yami Malik murmured.  
  
"What is it?" Yami Bakura asked cautiously.  
  
"No wonder they tried the test run today. Their power is at it's highest tonight at seven o'clock. At that time, they can infect everyone in the entire world with Mary Sue-ism! All they need is for a skeptic to accept them, and they'll gain the powers they need to complete their weapon! If we don't rescue Honda before they manage to brainwash him, we're all doomed!" Yami Malik told Yami Bakura. "We've got to find him!"  
  
Just then, Joey walked in. "Hey guys! What's new?"  
  
"An evil force known as the Mary Sues are trying to take over the world. IF they manage to brainwash Honda into admitting that Mary Sues are socially acceptable then they can gain the energies they need to complete their brainwashing weapon. They'll turn us all into simpering idiots with the same over done story line going on repeatedly forever! We have to locate Honda, and kill the original Mary Sue before she can get him to talk!"  
  
"Brainwash him?" Joey asked confused. "What?"  
  
"The shorter version is that Honda was right. The Mary Sue was out to get him. Right now, he is being subjected to unimaginable torture! Think non- stop Barney! Pink rooms!" Yami Malik told him.  
  
Joey paled. "You mean she really was evil?"  
  
"Yes!" Practically everyone yelled at him.  
  
"We're trying to figure out where her lair is right now." Ryou told him.  
  
"I just saw them." Joey ventured.  
  
"Where!" Yami Malik and Yami Bakura said at the same time.  
  
"By the pet shop. You know the 'Fuzzy Bunny', down by 43rd and 13th street."  
  
Yami Malik made a face. "Well, that names certainly cute enough for her hide out."  
  
Yami Bakura nodded agreement.  
  
"Then let's go!" Yami said heading toward the door.  
  
"Wait!" Yami Bakura snapped. "You can't just run head long into the Mary Sues lair! You need a plan!"  
  
"Or superior firepower." Yami Malik told his friend softly.  
  
Yami Bakura looked at him. "What are you talking about?"  
  
"I did a little shopping trip when we were last in Egypt. If you'll follow me?" Yami Bakura followed Yami Malik looking puzzled.  
  
Yami, Yugi, Joey, Tea, and Ryou waited impatiently for them to return.  
  
At last after ten minutes, Yami had had enough. "That's it! Let's just go! They can catch up!"  
  
"We're ready, oh impatient pharaoh!" Yami Malik's voice put in.  
  
Yami turned and froze. Both Yami Bakura and Yami Malik looked like characters from The Matrix. Long black coats, black combat boots, dark mirrored sunglasses, black jeans made of some heavy material, and black T- shirts. They were armed to the teeth with hand guns in a low thigh holster (like Lara Croft's), knives, and extra bullets. Yami Bakura had a case that looked suspiciously like it held a machine gun, and Yami Malik had a flame- thrower.  
  
"The Mary Sue Extermination Squad is in." Yami Malik informed them, peering over the top of his sunglasses at them.  
  
"How are we going to get downtown with you guys dressed like that?" Ryou asked, staring at them.  
  
Yami Bakura shrugged, "I'm sure no one will give us a second glance." He grinned maliciously. "I can guarantee that they won't dare say anything."  
  
"What about the, uh, flame-thrower, and the, uh, um, machine gun?" Ryou asked hesitantly.  
  
"I've got a big duffel bag!" Yugi offered, running upstairs.  
  
He came back down with a huge blue duffel bag that just barely fit the two items in it. Yami Bakura slung it over one shoulder, while Yami Malik wrapped The Book in a black cloth and carefully held it in his arms.  
  
"Let's go!" Joey said, striding out.  
  
Yami Bakura was right. No one said a word to them. They arrived at the 'Fuzzy Bunny', within fifteen minutes. They all stood in the alley behind it, plotting how to best do this.  
  
"You guys stay back! You'll only be in the way. Once we get in, and distract the Mary Sue, Joey and Yami come in and find Honda. Everyone else stay here in case you need to rescue us later. Ready Yami Bakura?" Yami Malik said.  
  
Yami Bakura gave a wicked grin, and pulled out the machine gun. He held it up. "Never readier!"  
  
Yami Malik mirrored his grin, digging out the flame-thrower. "Let's do it!"  
  
Together they strode to the back alley door, and with one united kick broke down the door.  
  
Ryou covered his eyes with one hand. "I can't watch." 


	4. The Mary Sue Extermination Squad!

Disclaimer: I don't own them.  
  
A/N- Although I do believe that Mary Sue's seem to take up more than their fair share of the YGO section, this story was written just for fun.  
  
All Mary Sue's mention as part of the 'twisted Barbie collection' (XD) were made up by me. Any suggestions for additions to it, though, can be included in an email or review, and I'll add them to the Mary Sue army at the end. ^_^ As always reviews are great, constructive criticism appreciated, and flamers shot down. Enjoy!  
  
The Mary Sue Extermination Squad!  
  
The door crashed open with a resounding thud.  
  
"Go for it." Yami Malik whispered when nothing happened immediately.  
  
"Me?! Why me?!"  
  
"Because! I'll cover you! Now hurry up, we're losing valuable hunting time!"  
  
Grumbling Yami Bakura pulled one of the guns out of his thigh holster, and cautiously glanced around the corner. "Okay, on three. Ready?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"If you let me die I'll so haunt your ass!"  
  
"I'm right behind you."  
  
"Alright. One, two, and three!" Yami Bakura ran in, gun at the ready, dropping down into a crouching defense position. Yami Malik covering him from the doorway, with the flame-thrower.  
  
Yami Bakura made a face at the pink and white walls, covered with pictures of a cuddly 'fuzzy bunny' for which the place was named.  
  
"See anything?"  
  
"No. You?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Alright. Secure the area."  
  
Working together, they systematically searched the main floor, looking for any signs of a Mary Sue. Up and down the aisles of pet food and toys they moved.  
  
"Find anything?" Yami Malik asked at last.  
  
"Not ye....Ah ha!" Yami Bakura yelled triumphantly swooping down on a blue barrette on the floor. Further, in the corner he came up with Honda's backpack. "Evidence!"  
  
Yami Malik moved closer for a better look. "How do we know that it's hers?"  
  
Yami Bakura held it up to the light, moving it slowly back and forth. "I don't kno.."  
  
He was abruptly cut off as a small tag with the words; 'Property of M. Sue' fell forward. Bakura raised an eyebrow.  
  
"You don't get the feeling that they're trying to lure us into a trap do you?" He murmured softly.  
  
Malik shrugged unconcerned. "Nah! Everyone knows that Mary Sues don't do that. "  
  
"I guess..."  
  
"Where did you find it?"  
  
"It was closest to the basement door. Let's go!" Yami Bakura headed for the door, once more focusing on the mission.  
  
"Alright" Yami Malik replied, following his friend's lead.  
  
"Okay, I'll go in first again, you cover me. Ready?"  
  
Yami Malik lifted the flame-thrower smiling at the gleefully happy look on his friend's face. "Baka."  
  
"What?" Yami Bakura asked distractedly.  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Good. Then let's do this!" He said throwing open the door to the basement.  
  
Meanwhile Joey and Yami stood just outside the alley door.  
  
"How do we tell when it's safe?" Joey asked, peering into the overly cheerful room.  
  
"I don't know." Yami replied. "Whenever Yami Bakura and Yami Malik get back, I guess......."  
  
"What happens if they don't come back?" Joey responded. "For all we know they'll just forget about Honda, and go soul stealing."  
  
"I doubt that they'd do that......." Yugi told him.  
  
Yami whirled around. "I thought I told you to stay back! It isn't safe over here!"  
  
Yugi opened his mouth to argue when there came a loud crash from within the building. (A/N- it's a big room, okay?)  
  
"What was that?!" Joey yelped startled.  
  
Yami was already gone.  
  
"Hey, wait for me!" Joey yelled, running after him.  
  
"Be careful!" Ryou warned taking a step forward, and immediately tripping over the welcome mat. "Ouch!"  
  
"Are you okay?" Yugi asked, rushing to kneel beside him.  
  
"I think so." Ryou said sitting up slowly.  
  
"It's a good thing you're so clumsy Ryou." Tea informed him. "Look at this!"  
  
Both Ryou and Yugi leaned forward to regard the lever hidden under the mat.  
  
"What do you think it does?" Ryou asked.  
  
"I don't know, but that's kind of a dumb place to put a secret switch......." Tea put in.  
  
"There's only one way to find out." Yugi said, reaching for the lever.  
  
Ryou grabbed his hand stopping him. "Do you think that that's wise?"  
  
Before Yugi could answer, Tea interrupted him. "Maybe it's not wise. In fact, maybe it's stupid, but the power of friendship is stronger than mere fear! We need to help Honda, and to do that we need to pull this...."  
  
"Okay!" Ryou said frantically before she could continue. "I think that we get it!"  
  
Tea glared at him, as Yugi reached for the lever.  
  
Meanwhile....  
  
Yami and Joey found the basement door ajar.  
  
"See! I told you it was just past the Meow Mix!" Joey whispered triumphantly, creeping down the stairs.  
  
Yami just shook his head for silence, easing down the stairs behind him.  
  
Halfway down, they heard a voice yell, "You'll never get away with this!"  
  
Peering cautiously over the edge of the railing, Yami found himself staring at a one of the most bizarre things that he had ever had the misfortune to see. Yami Bakura unconscious in a heap of kitty treat bags, while Malik was gagged and tied to a shelving unit containing stacks of little blue and pink boxes with rubber duckies clearly showing through the plastic front, surrounded by various Mary Sues.  
  
Like some sort of twisted Barbie doll collection, there was anti social Mary Sue (who eventually learns the true meaning of friendship), and random millennium item Mary sue (in this case a bracelet). Tragic past Mary Sue stood daydreaming with a wistful expression for friendship on her face, while kind good Mary Sue stood comfortingly by. Super duelist Mary Sue (still clutching her cards), and Romance Mary Sue talking about changing Seto Kaiba through the power of love. 'Evil' villain Mary Sue was glaring at everyone else in a corner, identifiable from anti-social Mary Sue by the paper clearly marked 'plans for world domination' sticking out of her pocket. Yami 'past life wife' Mary Sue, leaned casually against a counter chatting with 'slave girl in ancient Egypt who changes Seto/Yami for the better' Mary Sue. Even as he watched New girl at Domino High Mary Sue and 'Ryou's sister' Mary Sue, entered with 'Pegesus' daughter' Mary Sue, through a side door. It was complete chaos!  
  
"I never realized that there were so many of them!" Joey said, horror creeping into his voice.  
  
"Not a lot of people do." A clear musical voice commented from behind them.  
  
Yami and Joey spun around only to find themselves gazing into the clear blue eyes of the original evil- perfect Mary Sue!  
  
"I see you've met some of my friends!" Mary Sue continued brightly. "Rose, Tenshi, Kimi, Lily, Kate, DJ, Ray, Hikari, Ria, Shayna, Chelsea, and Kat."  
  
Yami glared stonily at her, mind desperately trying to come up with a way out, while Joey searched for an exit.  
  
"There's no way out, you know?" Mary Sue stated calmly. "Why don't you come down and join us? I'm sure your friend Honda would be glad to see you."  
  
Yami glared harder at her at the mention of Honda, while Joey continued to scan desperately. Suddenly his eyes rested on Malik's forgotten flame thrower slightly behind evil Mary Sue. His eyes lit up.  
  
Carefully putting his expression into one of defeat, he sighed loudly. "She's right Yami. There's no way that we can compete with such obvious perfection. We should just give up."  
  
Yami whirled around at him shocked, while Mary Sue tried her best not to gloat as it wasn't becoming.  
  
"What are you talking about Wheeler?!" Yami demanded.  
  
"We should just go along with her down the stairs Yami." Joey said trying his best to communicate with his eyes that he had a plan.  
  
Yami frowned, but slowly nodded. "Alright."  
  
"Well then, let's go!" Mary Sue chirped happily. "You guys first!"  
  
Yami moved past Joey, heading down the stairs. Pausing for just a moment before he began his descent, he whispered, "You better know what you're doing."  
  
"I do." Joey whispered back, calmly following Yami, muscles tensing as they reached the last stair. Suddenly Joey spun around grabbing Mary Sue by the arm, and pushing her at her fellows, before springing forward and sprinting toward the partially hidden flame thrower.  
  
Mary Sue jumped to her feet, face flushed in anger, with an furious cry of, "Get him!" Seconds before a wave of Mary Sues swarmed toward him.  
  
Yami, for the moment unnoticed, carefully ducked behind a bin of decorative plants, and began to stealthily make his way to free Malik.  
  
Joey leaped the last few feet, and sliding across the linoleum managed to snag the flame thrower. Jumping to his feet, flame thrower in hand, Joey laughed manically, doing a fair impression of Yami Malik. The Mary Sues paused, uncertain.  
  
"Bwahahahahaha! Take this evil spawns!" He said gleefully, pressing the trigger.  
  
Nothing happened.  
  
Joey's stared unbelievingly, while the Mary Sues began to move toward him again. Joey held the flame thrower out in front of him like a shield, and with a cry of, "Banzai!!!!!!!!!!" ran through them.  
  
"You'll never take me alive!" He yelled, racing away.  
  
"Get him, and his little friend too!" Mary Sue ordered, and the chase was on.  
  
Yami, in the mean time, was busy trying to untie the large pink rope that they had secured Malik with. Malik wasn't helping matters any, muttering things that sounded suspiciously like curses and threats, around that gag that he had half managed to chew thorough already.  
  
Yami kneeled farther down, as Mary Sue sat beside the still unconscious Bakura, gazing at him with an unreadable look for a moment. Suddenly she smiled. "You'll do nicely." She informed his unconscious form, before grabbing him by both arms and dragging him away.  
  
Malik's eyes widened. "Noooo!" He yelled loudly, viciously biting through the last part of his gag. Yami winced, as the Mary Sue turned to look at them again, evidently having forgotten that Malik was there in her quest to get back at Joey. Yami worked faster, as the Mary Sue started to cross the room toward Malik. He'd be seen any second!  
  
Meanwhile....  
  
Yugi pulled the lever.  
  
"Self destruct sequence activated." A mechanical voice stated, as a row of previously unnoticed red numbers glowed: 5:00  
  
Ryou stared at Yugi, Yugi stared at Anzu, Anzu stared at Ryou.  
  
"Oops."  
  
Meanwhile....  
  
Before the Mary Sue could completely cross the room the speaker located above the door frame announced, "Self destruct sequence activated."  
  
Mary Sue's blue eyes widened. "Drat!" She murmured softly. With one last mavolent look at Malik, she ran back to Bakura and continued dragging him away. "Until we meet again!"  
  
"Nooooooo!" Malik screamed again, struggling to get loose.  
  
Yami pulled the last knot free a moment later, and Malik was off, racing to the door that the Mary Sue had dragged his friend through. He turned the handle frantically, but it was locked. Malik eyes searched around the room quickly, before landing on a desk. Running over he planted himself firmly behind it, and glaring determinedly at the door began his assault with his home made battering ram. Yami crossed the basement, joining him, and after five hits, the door caved.  
  
Malik leaped over the desk in a single bound, sliding into the room.  
  
But there was no one there, a rear exit door wide open.  
  
Racing to it to look wildly around outside, Malik's face fell.  
  
Yami stood uncertainly outside the doorway, peering anxiously in. "We should leave. We don't know how long we have."  
  
Malik just stood there.  
  
Carefully Yami climbed over the desk, and into the room. Standing by Malik's side for a moment he sighed, slowly placing one hand on his shoulder. "Bakura will be fine. He can handle himself. Now, the sooner we get out of here, the sooner we can start looking for him."  
  
Malik nodded, and Yami guided him back inside. They'd find Honda and Joey, regroup and decide what to do from there.  
  
Keeping a close eye on his charge, Yami led the way, toward where they had last seen Joey. 


End file.
